What Is Authentic Manhood?


Father’s Day is here! I have been blessed to have a father who showed me how an authentic man lives and honors God. Now, I am not saying he has been perfect, but he has been consistently authentic. I count it a blessing, a privilege, even an advantage to have been shown how a man who lives a life that honors God.

Unfortunately, many young men have not been shown how a man who lives an authentic, God-honoring life. I believe many of the problems in our modern society can be laid at the feet of men—men who have never really grown up. They seem stuck in adolescence.  Failed to launch!

Several years ago, our pastor Rick Thompson led several of the men in our church through a program called Men’s Fraternity. Pastor Robert Lewis developed this program. It gave me a great biblical foundation on how to raise my boys. I had a framework of ideas and principles, a set of rules. Most men like to know what the rules are.

You can ask my two sons today (they are grown men now) and they can give you the four rules of manhood. I used these rules when teaching them how a man should live. If they messed up, I could always bring it back to one of these rules.

These rules are not really in any order other than the most important rule is to look to God for your reward. We have a tendency to look for the wrong rewards. It really is in our nature to look in the wrong direction. But if we look to God for our rewards, it gives us a true north, an immoveable marker. We can never really get lost if we keep our sights on the Great Reward. He is the measure of our success.

We men have some other natural tendencies that are not good. One of them is to be passive. Our Great Grandfather Adam was the master of passivity! He stood around and did nothing when Mother Eve was being tempted. Passivity is our default position. We have to resist passivity! (Rule #2).

Being passive is where most men mess up. (At least I am speaking from personal experience.) After all, if I wait long enough, the problem might just go away on its own or someone else will take care of it. (It’s usually a woman taking care of the problem the man should be taking care of.)

Rule #3 is to accept responsibility. It really goes hand in glove with Rule #2. If we truly are accepting responsibility, we cannot live a passive life. Again, our Great Grandfather Adam showed us how to deflect responsibility: It was that woman’s fault that God gave him!

Usually my biggest problem of the day is found in my mirror. The crazy thing, the solution to my biggest problems is usually found in the same mirror.

The fourth rule is to lead courageously. I believe in the heart and soul of every man is the heart of a superhero. God made us in his image and gave us testosterone. Testosterone can sometimes make us a little edgy. It can make us risky, but it’s who we are. We should lead thoughtfully, prayerfully, but with great courage.

We are called not to a lukewarm life but to one full of challenges and adventures. God uses the problems in our lives to make us stronger. God must think some of us are pretty strong based off of the weight of our problems. It is through our problems and challenges we live out authentic manhood, honoring God.

Embrace the challenges that come your way. Celebrate the godly men in your life. Look to God for your reward. Reject being passive. Accept responsibility and lead courageously.

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown


Dr. Curtis Brown is a family care physician in Yukon, Oklahoma, specializing in nutrition and weight loss management. He is the author of The Caleb Journey.